Thomas and Killmanv developed a model that identified five common strategies for dealing with conflict. They believe that people tend to use certain styles habitually, even when the preferred styles may not be the most appropriate to the situation.
Identify five conflicts you have had in the past year (they can be big or small – with a partner, child, colleague or stranger). Think about how you responded.
- Did your responses fall into the categories below?
- Is there a response that is more typical of you than others?
- Is there a response you have never used or rarely use?
The following are the five response styles identified by Thomas and Killman:
Accommodate
- Will often give in to maintain the relationship and gain acceptance or approval
- More concerned with the stability of the working relationship than with meeting own or organizational needs or goals
Avoid
- Will take necessary steps to avoid conflict or confrontation
- Is most concerned about avoiding the “unpleasantness” associated with conflict
Collaborate
- Searches for a solution which meets the needs of both or all parties
- Is concerned with both the goals to be achieved and the stability of the working relationship
Compete/Directive
- Will not give in as considers own solution best or own needs as most important
- More concerned with achieving the goal or having needs met than with the stability of the relationship
Compromise
- Willing to meet the other half way
- While concerned about both the goal/needs and the relationship, the approach is to “split the difference” to avoid lengthy conflict or discussion
Using the Styles Appropriately
Each style has strengths and there are circumstances when using each style is appropriate.
The following chart provides an overview of the uses of each style and the dangers of inappropriate use.
Style | Uses | Danger of Inappropriate Use |
---|---|---|
Accommodation |
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Avoidance |
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Collaboration |
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Competition/ |
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Compromise |
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Effective conflict management involves knowing when to use each style and having skills and experience using each style.